reminder {all you need is love}

"Because love is the great commandment, it ought to be at the center of all and everything we do in our own family, in our Church callings, and in our livelihood. Love is the healing balm that repairs rifts in personal and family relationships. It is the bond that unites families, communities, and nations. Love is the power that initiates friendship, tolerance, civility, and respect. It is the source that overcomes divisiveness and hate. Love is the fire that warms our lives with unparalleled joy and divine hope. Love should be our walk and our talk."-- elder uchtdorf

i really needed this reminder today.

love.

it seems so easy, yet it is probably the hardest thing to do. especially to love someone that caused you tremendous amount of pain mentally and physically.

it is one thing to forgive that person. and forgiving is not an easy thing to do either, but i think loving that person after you forgive is the biggest challenge.

you can forgive, forget and move on, but to love that person will take a big heart.

i don't think i have that yet.

i suppose that's the reason why i'm here.

great. this will take a loooong time. {and i say that with a little sarcasm.}

no, life is good. life is great, and these are the things that i live for.
i know it makes me a stronger person. and i know that i have these trails in my life because he thinks i can handle them.


sometimes i just need a little reminder to get me through these little breakdown moments.

good thing lds.org is one one click away at work.

i feel used.

{do you remember when bush chocked on a pretzel and that news was on the headlines?}

alison jackson is a very unique photographer.
she has photographed the Queen of England on the toilet, George Bush and Tony Blair chatting in the sauna, Paris Hilton bribing her fellow inmates and Monica Lewinsky lighting Bill Clinton’s cigar. ok, not really. the likenesses are uncanny, but her subjects are ALL look-alikes!

you should check out her other images here.

johnny drama will be jealous

i finally purchased le creuset casserole oven!! oh, and may i add the fact that it's 5.5 qt!?
i'm sure that means nothing to you all, but it means A LOT to me.

my blog friends should know by now about my little obsession with le creuset.
i looooove cast iron. and i looooove that it was made in france. i think it makes it more special when it is not made in china. no offense to my asian friends there...

anyway, my mom uses le creuset for all her cooking and naturally i wanted to start collecting them like mama when i got married.

but you see, these babys don't come in a cheap price tag. so, i just have to collect them one by one. but i'm ok with that. i think it's a little more exciting that way.

now, i originally wanted the citrus yellow color, but when i actually went to buy it... i saw the red chili color and i couldn't resist! i think you can't go wrong with red. mama has the same color and she's had hers for over 10 years and it still looks stylish.

ah! i am so excited! i'm excited to keep on collecting them.

i purchased mine here.

this is my beauty... ta-da!

willies

so, i'm pretty selfish and often times i don't share certain delicious finds to the public until i make the purchase. well, i'm feeling pretty generous today. ha. just kidding. ok, not really.. or am i? whoa. i've just confused myself.

anyway, i've been eyeballing these babies for quiet sometime now. and my friend brittany and i were having a lusty conversation about these babies the other day... and it just made me more excited to get them!

ok, so i know a lot of you are thinking.. "what? rain boots?" yes, rain boots, ladies. what do you wear when the snow is melting and it's a black-mud-slush? you can't wear your uggs! or do you wear your leather boots? no, no, no, you wear RAIN BOOTS. they come pretty handy around this season.

so, i was thinking about which color i wanted to get... and this was a toughie.

i had to really ponder about it. and i decided that i wanted these beautiful jimmy choo ones:

Ok, that is if i had like $500, which I don't. so, I decided to settle for this baby:

i'm ready for christmas.

love story

we were best friends first.

he was there for me.

i was there for him.

we took trips together.

we kissed.

and we kissed some more.

and it was....

magic.

it's been 2 years since it all happened.

i love my husband more then ever.

i continue to love him each day more and more.

i've never been happier in my life.

For all those times you stood by me

For all the truth that you made me see

For all the joy you brought to my life

For all the wrong that you made right

For every dream you made come true

For all the love I found in you

I'll be forever thankful, baby

You're the one who held me up

Never let me fall

You're the one who saw me through

Through it all

You were my strength when I was weak

You were my voice when I couldn't speak

You were my eyes when I couldn't see

You saw the best there was in me

Lifted me up when I couldn't reach

You gave me faith 'cause you believed

I'm everything I am

Because you loved me, baby

You gave me wings and made me fly

You touched my hand I could touch the sky

I lost my faith, you gave it back to me

You said no star was out of reach

You stood by me and I stood tall

I had your love, I had it all

I'm grateful for each day you gave me

Maybe, I don't know that much

But I know this much is true

I was blessed because

I was loved by you.

this is how i feel about my husband.

word for word.

unload

i talk about "blog identity crisis" often.
but i don't really share about my own identity crisis.
could it be because i'm ashamed of myself? embarrassed?
maybe..

you see, often times i'm afraid to put myself out there.
well, yes, i can be pretty blunt and confess to you that i have cellulite. and yes, that is a fact that i'm embarrassed about myself.

but... i'm not talking about my outer appearance. i'm talking about me. my personality.
sometimes, i get nervous and i can't be myself around people. i put up a guard.

the funny thing is.,i used to do this with the boys i liked.
i remember... i liked this one boy. we will call him jonny.
jonny and i shared the same group of friends.
i liked him. but he didn't like me.

why?

probably because he thought i was some sorta weirdo!
i couldn't be myself around him, i would get nervous being around him.
i would try to pull off being cool and cute, but fail miserably.

but i was my complete self around the other guys. and i think they liked me.
yup. actually... i know they liked me. in a romantic way.

it killed me. i didn't know why i repelled men that i liked and attracted men that i didn't like in a romantic way. i was on the edge of becoming a lesbian. ok, not really. but you get my point.

i didn't know what i was doing wrong.
until one day, i become mature and smart through my experiences and the book "he is not that into you".

and i made lehi fall in love with me. it was a success.
yay!

anyway, so after i got married i felt like i didn't have to worry about that part of me anymore.
wrong!

you still meet new people and make friends...
and i haven't really had the chance to "make new friends" ever since i've gotten married.
and recently, i've had few opportunity to do so.

making new friends is a good thing right? yes, i would like to think so.
but it's not so great when you are sitting their feeling uncomfortable in your skin. and you just come off as a weirdo. i want to be myself around everyone. without having to put up a guard or just be weird and awkward. if there was an award for the most awkward person.. i'd win it.

i promise people, i'm not that weird.
i will admit, marriage has turned me into a freak show, but really.. i don't think i'm the only one.
and you should all know that i'm a fun person to be around if you already didn't know that.

ok, i'm going to stop rambling.

i just need to keep on telling myself that i'm a "strong, confident woman."

do you have issue with your self esteem?
you can let me know... it might make me feel better about myself.

sorry kiddies,

my baby andre is the cutest.
he makes me go goo-goo ga-ga.
i took some pictures of him last saturday when we went up to our friends house in bountiful to eat divine brazilian food.

did i mention that it was cooked by mama oliveira?
yup. she's from brasil.
not only that she's from brasil, she is the most amazing cook known to mankind. {next to my mama and mami tenorio.}

i don't get to eat her food often, so i kept on pushing myself to eat more than my stomach could bare. needless to say, my tummy wasn't happy with me, but i thought it was soooo worth it.

trust me. her food is that good. i'm sure you would have done the same.
my mouth gets full with saliva just thinking about her fried rice with beef stroganoff.
ugh.... i want some right now!

gimme gimme.

anyway, i just wanted to blog about that. cause it was a special night.

p.s
my blog used to be so much better!
i regret taking all the things down.
ugh.. i don't remember how i had it before.
i should have taken a screen shot.
dang it.

blank.

i'm going through blog-identity crisis again...

not cool.

i need to be inspired.

poor blog

i'm sorry that i have neglected you again.

i promise that it won't happen again!

you see, i have been feeling a little confused, frustrated, unmotivated, insecure, and lazy.

i need to get over this phase that i'm going through.

it's ridiculous.

i'm not myself. i don't like myself right now. in fact, it kind of pisses me off.

yes, i'm pissing myself off. i need help. help?

i need to find a way to motivate myself. any ideas?

you know... this whole "i don't like myself-i-feel-insecure"-biznaz is making me lose weight.

normally i'd think that's a good thing, but not for me. not right now. i've lost too much weight.

people say that you gain weight when you get married and i always thought i'd be one of those people that would gain love-weight, but no... i, apparently am not in that category.

i have shed over 10lbs since last december. no bueno, i tell you. noooo bueno. i have lost my womanly figure and now i look like a 12 year old girl with cellulite on her thighs. ok. that's another topic i will talk about another day. i have discovered that i have fuh-reaking cottage cheese.

i'm here to tell you all that it doesn't matter how skinny you are. people still get cottage cheese. i'm a walking testimony of that.

have you ever squeezed and twisted your skin on your body to see if you had cellulite?

am i the only one?

should i be embarrassed? crap. another insecurity.

i need to go buy me some cocoa butter.

let's get crafty

i spice my life up by being crafty.

here is my latest project.

it's a cookie/scone/muffin/cup cake-platter!

how adorable is it?

i'm very happy with the outcome.

it was so worth waking up early.